Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You've uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don't have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this starge woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like "Gold Digger" or Daddy's girl"....but they don't so it's up to you to find out these things out and you can't just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid in making and how to impress this lady if you diecide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her "What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?" Listen carefully to her answers. She's going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, "What do you really think about online dating?' Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating online and help you to avoid making the same things go wrong.

Now for the all-important one...."What caused the break up in your last relationship?" If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn't right for either of them, you've heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Online Dating Mistakes to AVOID

While you search the internet for that special lady...the one of your dreams...your soul-mate...the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong...things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the "real" world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference betwen being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman's point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive...maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal, and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another...and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing, Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine, it won't happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can't.

Little white lies and false fronts won't work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don't make false statements, the truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75000.00, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember...Don't be too aggressive, expect to never find perfection and never put on a false front......Honesty is always best in everything that you do especially if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with..........or just to have an enjoyable relationship with, you would want honesty so expect to get what you give in life.

Online Dating Safety for WOMEN

Online dating can be fun and certainly a rewarding experience for women of all ages. Maintaining your safety while doing it is simply a combination of using common sense and exercising good judgement. Online safety rules are the same as real world safety rules.

You wouldn't give your name, address and phone number to a strange man that you met in a bar or on the street so you should never do that online either. Play it safe. Get to know this man who could turn out to be Prince Charming before you give out any information that could make it possible for him or others to trace you. Don't tell a stranger exactly where you work. Say that you are a legal secretary (if that's what you are) for a mid-sized law firm... not that you work for Brown, Smith and Jones Attorneys-at-Law. It is safe to tell him what city you live in but you should wait to be any more specific than that until you have been chatting and exchanging emails for awhile.

Use only the tools provided by the dating service you belong to. Most offer chat and private email on their site. Do not give out your isp email address. If you must give out an email address make it a free one such as Hotmail or Yahoo. Your isp address is traceable for anyone who wants to go to the trouble. There are also several sites that you can set up your own email address for a very low price, interested in finding out more about this kind of company, click HERE.

When the time comes for you to have your first face-to-face, make that first meeting in a public place and during day light hours. Take a friend with you or arrange for one to call you on your cell soon after the arranged meeting.

Remember...you ARE in control so do not let anyone pressure you into revealing more personal information than you are comfortable with revealing.

Online Dating Safety For MEN

Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well. Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and all ages...as do, liars and cheaters. So men need to stay on guard, too.

It is common knowledge not to readily give out personal information to strangers. The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information. If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don't do it. You don't know what they want to use if for...and you had better believe they want to use it for something. That "something" will not be for your benefit. Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment. Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy. If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately. They are not looking for love or even friendship...they are looking for financial help.

If a woman gives you a contact number but you cannot ever reach her at that number, beware. If you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.

A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of. If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren't ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.